Thoughts on other people's opinions

I don’t have any kind of stats plugins installed on this blog; this was an active and conscious decision. One of the things i learned looooooooong ago about myself: i can easily spend way too much time and energy looking at site statistics. It’s just not healthy. I cared way too much about the stats on my old FA blog, and that didn’t help me any.

I’m trying to remember where i read it, but i recently came across the statement: “Someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business.”

I like that. I’ve spent an awful lot of time caring about what people thought of me, and the idea that it’s just plain None Of My Business? Feels kind of freeing. The opinions that a person has of me are not based solely on me or my actions – to some extent, they’re going to be based on that person’s life-experiences with their own selves and their interactions with the people around them. Interpersonal chemistry doesn’t exist in a vacuum. So a negative opinion that they might have of me doesn’t necessarily represent a fault or inadequacy on my part.

I’m not at the point where i can casually shrug it off when i find out that someone doesn’t like me. It stings, and i think it always will. I don’t think i can necessarily help that. What i can help is how i react outwardly to that situation. A lot of times, i’ve tried to prove them wrong – which is somewhat like pushing a rope. If someone’s made up their mind about me, that’s their business, not mine. So long as they don’t actively raise a fuss in my direction, i need to learn to leave well enough alone and just let them have their opinions.

I’m talking about the general public here, not friends & family. Obviously, if i’ve done something to hurt or upset a loved one, i’m going to do everything i can to make amends. And it’s not in my nature to go around being a jackass. I can be thoughtless, forgetful and a bit oblivious, and those have caused problems for me in the past, but they’re never intentional things. But that’s another post for another day.